NOTE FOR PARENTS ABOUT
"HOW MUCH?" PAGES
THE "HOW MUCH" pages on this website give kids a chance to
show the quantity of feeling they are experiencing. Expect alot!
A situation may seem trivial to a grown-up, but feel massive
to a child. Feelings don't necessarily "make sense".
It is much better for children to draw how they feel than to "act out" by hitting or slamming doors, etc.
In fact it's a good idea to re-direct your child to use "How Much?" pages if they are upset.
"HOW MUCH?" pages also help children to TALK about what they are going through. This is a major goal.
The ability to talk about a difficult event like the pandemic with an empathetic adult may minimize the amount of trauma children experience.
If the feelings are very big in the moment, your child may need a bit of time before they are ready to sit and draw. That's ok. Whenever they are ready; "How Much?" pages are a good way to process the intensity of an emotion.
What to do after your child has colored their "HOW MUCH?" pages?
Children may or may not want to talk about what they've drawn. That's ok!
Never force a child to talk about art. If your child does show you their work:
Pay attention. - give your full attention!
Validate HOW MUCH feeling your child has. Validation is not the same as agreement.
You can validate that your child is angry without agreeing that they are "right". This might sound like:
"I see that you ARE REALLY MAD! It's hard when you don't get to eat all the cookies." or
"You are so mad that you filled 15 thermometers!
Repeat back what your child has told you. - Paraphrasing makes your child feel understood.
Empathize. - Empathy is also not the same as agreement. It might sound like,
"It must be so hard to be this angry."
Make a plan - If your child's complaint has merit, make a plan to address it once they are calm.
If it is hard for you to watch or acknowledge "HOW MUCH" feeling your child has;
Ask yourself how your family treated your feelings when you were young?
Many adults were not allowed to express the intensity of their feelings as children.
If it is very uncomfortable or difficult to tolerate your child's emotions, you may want to avoid this portion of the website and decide if this is something
you want to address in your parenting.
Some recommended parenting books are:
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
Book by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
Parenting Without Power Struggles
The Innovative Parent: Raising Connected, Happy, Successful Kids through Art
Book by Erica Curtis & Ping Ho
This site is designed for feelings arising from the Corona Virus. It is not intended to deal with serious mental issues such as clinical depression, anxiety or
dis-regulation, opposition or abuse.
Scroll down for appropriate rersources
If you are concerned that your child is experiencing extreme
depression, anxiety, has chronic trouble regulating emotions, opposition
or is in danger of self-harm; seek professional help.
Psychology Today has providers in your area.
In an emergency call 911 or a PET team in your area
If you believe a child is being abused contact the
"Department for Children and Family Services" in your state immediately.
Any disclosures of abuse made on this website will also be reported to DCSF.